Matters of Etiquette

Proper etiquette seems to be warily regarded by some modern American men, much to the detriment of all.  There is nothing weak, or effeminate, about having good manners; quite the contrary.  Real men are, invariably, polite men.  America's bravest men - Washington, Jefferson, Lee, and others - have always been America's most gentlemanly men.  Rudeness and a lack of civility are traits that go hand in hand with weakness of all sorts, especially weak-mindedness, and we should do our utmost to avoid such behavior.

My belief is that there is a misunderstanding about good manners.  Having good manners does not mean engaging in ridiculous fussiness.  Having good manners means, first and foremost, that one conducts oneself with thoughtfulness and consideration for  others.  

"Manners are the shadows of virtues; the momentary display of those qualities which our fellow-creatures 
love and respect.  If we strive to become, then, what we strive to appear, manners may often be rendered 
useful guides to the performance of our duties."
-- Sydney Smith

"Good manners are the settled medium of social, as specie is of commercial life;
returns are equally expected from both; and people will no more advance their
civility to a bear than their money to a bankrupt."
-- Chesterfield

"Comport thyself in life as at a banquet.  If a plate is offered thee, extend thy hand
and take it moderately; if it is to be withdrawn, do not detain it.  If it come not to thy
side, make not thy desire loudly known, but wait patiently till it be offered thee."
-- Epictetus

"One of the most important rules as to manners is to be for the most part silent as to 
yourself.  Say little or nothing about yourself, whether good, bad, or indifferent; 
nothing good, for that is vanity; nothing bad, for that is affectation; nothing 
indifferent, for that is silly."
-- Hume

Resources:

• Are Polo Shirts Appropriate for Office Casual?
• The Laws of Etiquette - This etiquette guide from 1836 by "A Gentleman" offers a great deal of food for thought in modern times.
• Flag Etiquette - For Proper Display of American Flags.
• Kindness - Advice from an early 20th century writer, still pertinent today.
• Hints on Writing Love Letters - For Affairs of the Heart, and Advice on Marriage.
• Routledge's Manual of Etiquette

©  D J McAdam.  Please note: all applicable material on this website is protected by law and may not be copied without express written permission. 

Home | Book Collecting | Folklore / Myth | Philately | Playing Cards | Literature | Contents