By D. J. McAdam.
Having recently completed a fair amount of research on what traits in men are generally found to be most desirable, I thought it would be helpful to share this knowledge with our readers. In an effort to be concise, the definitions of these traits are not overly labored; however, there is enough information here for the reader of average intelligence to understand what is being got at, and to be encouraged to further research individual topics on his own.
- A man should be of good character. Briefly, this means that he should possess and display such noble characteristics as honesty, integrity, fairness, chivalry, and thoughtfulness. If one wishes to know more, one should read Samuel Smiles' "The Character of a Gentleman," found on this website.
- A man should be dependable, punctual, and a hard worker, both at work and at home.
- A man should be a good son, a good brother if he has siblings, a good husband if he is married, and a good father if he has children, performing those acts in each case that make life easier for others.
- A man should be a good citizen, of both his country and his community, and should volunteer when he can.
- A man should have a calm, even, and cheerful disposition, controlling his anger at all times, and being sober and sensitive when the situation requires such a demeanor.
- A man should have a clean and neat appearance by consistently being well-groomed and conservatively dressed.
- A man should be well-spoken; this includes never using foul language, avoidance of discussions inappropriate to a gentleman, avoidance of gossip, and avoidance of speaking (or hearing) ill of others.
- A man should maintain his personal surroundings in a neat, orderly, and uncluttered manner.
- A man should do his best to be as fit as he reasonably can be, which includes eating a healthy and properly portioned diet, and engaging in regular exercise.
- A man should be well-read, and should continually seek to better himself through formal or informal education, including reading, on worthwhile subjects.
Perhaps it's worthwhile here to mention some of the things that are not on this list. One does not have to be incredibly handsome, incredibly rich, incredibly smart, have incredible abs, or drive an incredible car or truck. One should do the best with what one has. Having a sense of humor is a good trait. Men should, at the earliest age possible, disabuse themselves of the idea that women are somehow charmed by the "helpless male." I'm pretty sure most women would take a helpful male over a helpless male any day.
"It is not a question of how much a man knows, but of what use
he makes of what he knows;
not a question of what he has acquired, and how he has been trained,
but of what he is, and what he can do."
-- J. G. Holland
"The way of a superior man is threefold:
virtuous, he is free from anxieties;
wise, he is free from perplexities;
and bold, he is free from fear."
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